"The Ninja Convention" and "The Late Riser and the Dictator"

Risking life and limb, a blog reader took a photo at the 5th Annual Ninja Convention.


Next up: Are you a late riser stuck in an early riser's world? If you think you are, you will definitely want to read these "5 Reasons Why Sleeping In Every Day Will Boost your Productivity."


The linked-to article features a hilarious video short — which I am embedding below — which could be titled, "The Late Riser and the Dictator." It's in Korean (I think) with German subtitles (I think), but no translation is necessary.





—Mellow Monk

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Resistance stretching, a swimmer's secret weapon

Get ready for the next fitness craze — resistance stretching, which 41-year-old record-breaking swimmer Dana Torres calls her secret weapon.

By essentially pitting muscle against muscle, resistance stretching could be seen as a variation of Charles Atlas's dynamic tension, although the emphasis is on improving not just strength but flexibility as well, and without bulking up.

In other words, the goal is to become what Ox would call a "lean, mean fighting machine."



She's 41 and mother of a 2-year-old daughter.


—Mellow Monk

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Things my Internet-less mother has asked me to look up online

For years I urged my (self-avowed technophobe) mother to get a computer and an Internet connection. "Think of all the sites online you could browse," I would say. "Think of how often I would call you for help," she would reply.


I eventually came to the conclusion that it would mean less stress in both of our lives if she simply called me whenever she needed to look something up online.


Here are a few of the things she asked me to research or order, etc.

• The Blue Book price of her 1997 Ford Contour (don't ask).
  
  
  
• When the new Star Wars game for XBox 360 is coming out. (It's for the grandkids.)
  
  
  
• How to order replacement parts for a basketball stand in her back yard. (It's for the grandkids, and my mother was shocked at how excellent the customer service at Lifetime, the manufacturer. The Customer Service guy took her name and address and said he'd ship the parts right away, at no charge and without even asking for a copy of the receipt or anything. How often does that happen?)
  
  
  
• The post-kitchen-fire status of San Francisco's Original Joe's restaurant.
  
  
  
• The status of Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman's TV show.
  
  
  
• Who has the best price on the last "Harry Potter" book (also for one of the grandkids).
  

Original Joe's before the October 2007 fire. I love restaurants with those big, chunky old-fashioned booths.


—Mellow Monk

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A new tongue-twister to try to triumph over

How often is it in the English-speaking world is it that someone comes up with a new tongue-twister?


Well, that's exactly what your truly did after helping Mini Monk with a homework assignment involving such tricky phrases. I was inspired by something I read about the ancient Roman tradition of the triumph, a victory parade in which the soldiers would sing bawdy songs about their general. The songs were short and silly and when sung for Julius Caesar would constitute silly songs Caesar’s soldiers sang.


I defy you to say that ten times fast. If you can, put it up on YouTube and I'll publish it here. The gauntlet has been thrown!



Those guys sure knew how to throw a tea party.


—Mellow Monk

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What's in your man cave?

What's that? You've never heard of a "man cave"?


Well, don't worry, because I hadn't either, although we are all familiar with the concept: a place in the home to which a guy can retreat to ponder big thoughts . . . or just watch the game.



This man cave is a big upgrade from Rock Band.


—Mellow Monk

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Human Tetris

This TV show clip isn't subtitled, but subtitles aren't really needed: Contestants try to pass through strangely shaped openings in moving walls—or get knocked into a pool of water.






—Mellow Monk

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Hardware Wars, the original "Star Wars" parody

Here it is, in two parts, "Hardware Wars," the first-ever "Star Wars" parody. This was made soon after the first "Star Wars" movie came out, and it's still funny today.


The voice-over was done by voice actor Paul Frees, who dubbed Toshiro Mifune in many of his English-language films as well as dubbed versions of Mifune's Japanese films.


So boil yourself up a pot of tea, kick back, relax, and prepare to "laugh, cry, and kiss three bucks goodbye."



Hardware Wars - Part I





Hardware Wars - Part II




—Mellow Monk

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Skywalkers in Korea Cross Han Solo

The story came out last year but for some reason has now been rediscovered because of the oh-so-clever headline.


The story has nothing at all to do with "Star Wars" but instead is about a high-wire festival in South Korea, in which contestants vied for a $15,000 prize for the speediest crossing of a wire strung across the Han River.



He's crossing the Han (River) solo. Get it?


—Mellow Monk

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It's a Green Tea Partay, West Coast style

Last year, Smirnoff released a comedy viral video called "Tea Partay" featuring made-up East Coast rap group Prep-Unit.


This year the company released a sequel—a West Coast version called "Green Tea Partay" sung by the also made-up group Boyz in the Hillz (as in Beverly Hills).


Just think how impressed your kids will be when they find out you know what "Green Tea Partay" is.





—Mellow Monk

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Moneygami

"Moneygami" is the English name given to Japanese currency folded origami-style so that the person on the bill looks like he/she is wearing a hat.



The title of this one is "Yukichi just out of the bath" ... and it really is made from a single 10,000-yen note.


—Mellow Monk

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The high-kickin' chicken with too much kick (TV commercial)

I know Burger King isn't exactly a paragon of healthy eating, but this is still a funny commercial.


However, your take on this commercial might be slightly different than the average person's if you grew up on a farm and have traumatic childhood memories of being chased and kicked by a rooster (as happened to the Missus).





—Mellow Monk

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Talking about Car Talk

Are you one of those people who, like me, wishes you knew more about cars?


I'm not talking about minutiae like the interface by which the conrod presubatomic oscillators connect to the ventriculated thingamajig. No, I'm talking about routine maintenance, routine problems, and—most importantly—how to diagnose your car's mechanical problem or, at the very least, know what's probably wrong, so that you'll know if your friendly neighborhood auto mechanic is trying to get a year's worth of boat payments out of you.


Well then, have I got a radio show for you. It's called Car Talk, a call-in show hosted by real-life auto mechanics and real-life brothers Tom and Ray Magliozzi.


Based in the fair town of Cambridge, MA, these good-humored, highly knowledgeable guys take listeners' calls about various automotive problems, from strange noises to unsettling mechanical behavior, then offer their own expert diagnoses. They also have a little fun at the listener's expense.


These guys are a lot of fun to listen to, and you can even listen to them online, via iTunes podcast, or your local radio station. Who knows, you may actually learn something—or, like me, you'll just feel like you've learned something, which is at least a start. But either way, you'll have a great time.


By the way, "Car Talk" is great to listen to whilst enjoying a nice cup of green tea (hint, hint).



Tom and Ray Magliozzi, co-hosts of "Car Talk." Finding a photo of these guys wasn't easy, and now I see why. (Just kidding, guys!)


—Mellow Monk

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Ridiculous celebrity cameos in Japanese ads

From Cracked.com, which is a pretty raucous website: "The 5 Most Ridiculous Celebrity Cameos in Japanese Ads."

Featured celebrities include Nicolas Cage, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Michael J. Fox. (They did these commercials either before the Internet existed, or when it existed but few people yet realized that the technology would, for instance, make it impossible for American celebrities to make silly TV commercials in Japan without the American public ever seeing them.)


—Mellow Monk

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Fatherhood: 72 crucial tips

From MSN comes a list of 72 tips for guys on surviving and thriving in fatherhood.

Liberal amounts of humor are injected, but for the most part the advice is dead-on.

38. Children's hobbies to nip quickly in the bud: drums, archery, matchbook collecting.

39. Beware your child's uncles, who will teach your kid dirty words, introduce him to liquor, and give him gifts of drums, archery sets, and possibly matches.

40. It is, of course, your natural right to exert the above negative influences on your siblings' offspring.

—Mellow Monk

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Cow-pie bingo

To play cow-pie bingo, all you need is a cow, a field marked with grid lines, and cash to bet.





—Mellow Monk

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The Three Stooges didn't patent it

I took this photo of a display in the front window of a hobby shop at San Francisco Japantown.





The caption reads: "Dateline WWII: The allies foil another axis offensive."

—Mellow Monk

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