3 ways to improve your life — and live longer

You can improve your life and live longer by (1) stretching you muscles, (2) improving your outlook and attitude, and (3) striving to get along better with others.



A loose, flexible body is better equipped to stave off stress, too.


—Mellow Monk

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Self-massage while faffling

The Britishism to faffle roughly corresponds to the Yiddishism to putz around. Both terms express a concept that we should all learn to embrace in this über-hectic world of ours:

Faffing is good. It is an important part of life. Faffing is when we disconnect from the matrix and idle for a while, like a car. Our body and spirit know deep down that human beings were not made for constant toil so subconsciously creates space through the mechanism of faffing.

A good non-activity to engage in while faffling is self-massage. For instance:

1. Every morning and evening, hammer out the kinks. Using your fists, gently thump the outside of your body, starting with your legs and arms, working from top to bottom. Then move inward to your torso and thump from bottom to top. "Pummeling your muscles and bones will help strengthen the body, stimulate blood circulation, and relax nerve endings," says Walsemann. When done in the morning, this self-massage technique will waken and prepare your body -- and mind -- for the day ahead. When done before bed, it calms down the mind and beats out the stress and tension of the day. One warning: If you're taking any kind of blood thinner, such as Coumadin (warfarin), avoid this one; you could wind up with bruising.

By the way, Grasshopper, brewing and drinking green tea is another great excuse for a faffling session. And green tea has the added benefit of also being good for your body, too.



"Ah, I can smell the green tea brewing."


—Mellow Monk

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Don't ruin a hobby by turning it into a job

Yet another entry in the "Scientists Proving What We Already Knew" file — once they start getting paid to do something they used to do for fun, people tend to find the activity less satisfying and rewarding:

[University of Rochester psychologist Edward] Deci tracked a bunch of college students who were solving puzzles for fun. He divided them into two groups. One group was allowed to keep solving puzzles as before. People in the other were offered a small financial reward for each puzzle they solved.

The psychologist later evaluated the volunteers: He found that people given a financial incentive were now less interested in solving puzzles on their own time. Although these people had earlier been just as eager as those in the other group, offering an external incentive seemed to kill their internal drive.

The lesson may be that if you really enjoy a hobby, then perhaps you should keep it at that. After all, one of the purposes of a hobby or some other pasttime passion is to help us escape from the pressures of the real world.


A corollary of this theory is that you shouldn't monetize a task that kids should learn to develop their own internal drive for:

"If I pay my kids to do their homework, I am saying, 'You will get this if you do your homework,' but I am also saying, 'Homework is not likely to have intrinsic rewards,'" [Princeton University economist Ronald] Benabou said. To the extent that a child is doing homework because he or she enjoys the challenge, or wants to demonstrate intelligence and diligence, the homework has meaning beyond the task itself, and Benabou predicts that offering a reward will backfire.

This reminds me of the episode of "This American Life" in which a mother sought to end the chronic quibbling between her young daughters by paying the older girl to play nicely with the younger one.


Now that just can't be good.


—Mellow Monk

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It's good to think about the future — to a reasonable degree

Some people are intensely focused on the future, while others focus on the here-and-now. In fact, time orientation is an important determinant of health and success — and a crucial factor in relationships:

"Mismatches" between people who view time differently are common in marriages, Zimbardo says. When future-oriented spouses clash with mates who live mostly for fun in the present, "you hear 'He's irresponsible' and 'She's a slave-driver,' " he says. Trouble can erupt over how to spend money, free time or vacations and how to raise kids.

But anything taken to the extreme is often unhealthy, and more and more hyper-driven types — such as superparents — are learning to focus more on enjoying togetherness now:

These parents, most of whom are in their 30s and early 40s, want quality family time now. "They're not as driven as their parents were career-wise, and there's more emphasis on family togetherness. They want their kids to have a good future, but there's less insanity about it," Chung says.

On the other hand, if you're a worrier — or even just a "ruminator" — you can console yourself knowing that overthinking may protect against dementia.



It's hard to imagine being overly stressed at a place like this. (Click to see a larger version.)


—Mellow Monk

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Easy-on-the-environment lawn alternatives

Oh, how I would love to get rid of my lawn. I don't mean dump weed killer on it, but rather tear it out and replace it with plants that need far less maintenance.


My wife claims this is just a conspiracy by which I aim to get out of weekend lawn-mowing duty, but that's not true! It's not for me; it's for the environment, see?


In fact, such "lawn alternatives" have sprouted (get it?) into a veritable cottage industry.


Flickr even has a new photo tag called "kill your lawn" for photos of lawn alternatives.



Another American is liberated from his lawnmower.


—Mellow Monk

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Relax to a beachside video

If you need to de-stress from a hectic weekend, or if you need to prepare to face a rough Monday, why not kick back and relax to this soothing video of scenes from a beach.


And if the world interrupts while you're relaxing, tell them that they'll have to get by without you for a few minutes.




—Mellow Monk

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Meditate by medijating

I don't know how to describe Larry Carlson's Medijate. It's strange, slightly creepy, but somehow entrancing and ultimately relaxing ... if you give it time.

Once you open up the Medijate screen, try clicking on some of the options on the bottom, such as "Seeds" or "Aloha".

Here's what the "Sign" screen of "Medijate" looks like. This screen capture doesn't do it justice, however. You have to see the moving graphics and hear the music to get the full effect.

—Mellow Monk

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The mellow way to cool boiled water to the perfect temperature for green tea

In Chapter 2 of "Stringing Tea," I describe how a film crew I was working with had to redo a shot of tea being brewed after the tea came out too dark. In our haste, we had just-boiled water poured directly onto the tea leaves. The tea grower who was doing the actual pouring wanted to cool the water first, but we were in a hurry. And besides, we weren't actually going to drink the tea — just film it being brewed.


After the tea came out too dark to film, the grower explained that it was because the water had been too hot.


(In other words, what we thought would be a time-saving shortcut — not cooling the water first — ended up costing us time. There's a valuable life lesson in there somewhere.)


But water that's too hot doesn't just ruin the color of tea: By essentially cooking the tea leaves, overheated water also spoils the tea's flavor and aroma.


The ideal water temperature range for brewing green tea is between 70 and 80 degrees Celsius, or 158 to 176 degrees Fahrenheit. Different teas do better with different temperatures, but if you're new to green tea, a good starting point would be roughly 75 degrees Celsius (167 degrees Fahrenheit).


Since water boils at 100 degrees Celsius (212 degrees Fahrenheit), just-boiled water is way too hot for green tea. It has to be cooled a bit first (hence the Britishism "Walk the kettle to the pot," meaning "Wait a bit before pouring boiled water into the teapot.")


But there's no need to break out a thermometer and a stopwatch when boiling water for tea. Instead, I've found that if you pour just-boiled water — from an electric kettle, say — into a Japanese-style yuzamashi (see the pictures below), then wait a couple of minutes, it will be well within the ideal temperature range.



A typical yuzamashi. The wide mouth provides a large surface area, for rapid cooling of boiled water.


Note that I intentionally used the vague phrase "a couple of minutes." This doesn't mean "precisely 2 minutes"; it means "a couple of minutes" — in other words, what you intuitively judge to be a couple of minutes, which I have found to be about as long as I can keep something in mind while doing something else. Any longer than this, and I forget the water altogether and it gets too cold.


This is yet another example, Grasshopper, of how brewing tea is an art, not a science.


Another cooling option is walking the kettle to the pot, but the problem with this is that it takes a lot longer than a couple of minutes for water to cool in the kettle in which it was boiled. It's not the waiting that's a problem, it's the forgetting.


Instead of a Japanese-style yuzamashi (which literally means "water-cooler"), you can also pour boiled water into another teapot (other than the one in which you've put your tea leaves) or something else that's easy to pour from. Avoid using an empty mug, because I've found that it's almost impossible to pour from a cup or mug without spilling.


If you've discovered Mellow Monk Green Tea, you're already three-quarters of the way to The Perfect Cup of Tea. But to make it the rest of the way requires good water at the right temperature.


But the good news is that with a little practice, you'll get there quickly. Brewing green tea is, as I've said, an art, not a science. And it's definitely not rocket science.



A yuzamashi in action. Never pour just-boiled water directly onto green tea leaves!


—Mellow Monk

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Frugal date ideas

Just because money's tight doesn't mean you have to sit around watching the tea brew. Take a look at the items on this list of 30 frugal date ideas. For instance:

4. Art gallery openings. You don’t have to absolutely love art to have a great date at one of these events. They offer free wine, snacks and a place for conversation. Who needs more than that?


20. Test drive cars together. Gone are the days when it was inexpensive to just go for long drives together. Cars can still be romantic, though, and it’s a lot of fun to go test drive luxury vehicles that you’re not really going to buy.

—Mellow Monk

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Relaxing on a beach at sunrise (video)

Here's a nice, mellow video to relax to—five minutes of sunrise on a beach in Tasmania. So brew yourself up a nice cup of green tea, sit back, relax, and prepare to be transported to the shores of Tasmania [click for the larger version].





—Mellow Monk

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Act confident, feel confident. The secret? Your own body language

A former FBI agent gives a fascinating overview of how to read body language. It's interesting how unconscious physical behavior can reveal our innermost feelings. But this doesn't just mean that you can decode a person's feelings by studying his or her body language. I believe it also means that you can change your own state of mind by changing your physical behavior — use the body language of a confident person, and you will actually feel more confident. Act confident and you'll feel confident. —Mellow Monk Go to the Mellow Monk tea page Subscribe to the blog feed (RSS)

Blast negativity—in a mellow way, of course

At DivineCaroline, Alexandra Levit writes about how to be more satisfied with yourself and your life:

I’ve asked some people for advice on how to become more satisfied, and here are some of the gems I’ve heard and tried myself:

* Don’t always “one-up”: It’s annoying when an acquaintance does it to you in a bar, so don’t do it to yourself. When you meet a goal you worked hard for, take a moment to celebrate the achievement instead of immediately focusing on what you can, or should do next.

"This wireless Internet connection is slow ... but I'm going to satisfied that at least I got it to work in the first place."


—Mellow Monk

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Slow your roll with green tea

To mellow out, you can drink Drank, the "anti-energy drink" that "slows your roll" by inducing sleepiness with melatonin, valerian root, and rose hips.


Or you can drink green tea, whose theanine mellows without inducing sleepiness.


Addendum: And at least Drank isn't dangerous like the über-caffeinated energy drinks can be.



The "slow your roll" philosophy is a good one indeed. But it can be attained more naturally.


—Mellow Monk

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Slow down ... fast!

Slow Down Fast is wonderful site by lifecoach and author David Bohl that's full of tips on living a less-hectic, more mellow life.


Here's an excerpt from the article "How to Boost Your Subjective Well-Being":

4. Shut off the television. Exposure to television is directly correlated with unhappiness. Regular television viewers consistently rate themselves as less satisfied with their financial status, more insecure about life in general and dissatisfied with themselves and their relationships. One possible reason is that commercials, and the exaggeratedly wealthy and exciting lifestyles of television characters, work together to make us feel bad about our own normal lives and possessions. Another issue is that physically ideal people are incredibly over-represented on television, therefore making us unhappy and unsatisfied with how our own looks, and the physical attractiveness of those around us, fares in comparison.

"Let's see, what would Mellow Monk do in this situation..."


—Mellow Monk

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Less homework, more yoga

This story is a little old but still relevant from a stress-relief perspective.


Kids today are under a lot of stress. What with more homework and more after-school activities, plus all those TV shows to watch and video games to play, not to mention all those highly caffeinated drinks they're guzzling, it's no wonder they're forgetting the art of relaxation.


That's why the principal of a high school in Massachusetts decided to add relaxation techniques.


And that's a good idea — because once they get out in the real world, they'll need all the relaxation tools they can get.


And you might also want to consider switching from coffee to green tea. Mellow out, man.



My gym class was never like this.


—Mellow Monk

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See Kyoto frugally

The NY Times "Frugal Traveler" shows how to find tranquility in Kyoto on less than $200 a day.


The article also features a really cool slideshow of sights to see in Kyoto.



A koi pond at Kyoto's Nanzen-ji temple.



From the "Frugal Traveler" slideshow: the Sanmon ("Mountain Gate") at Nanzen-ji temple. (Click on the image above to open the slideshow.)


—Mellow Monk

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Reduce stress, boost willpower.

Alright, everyone. Brew up a cup of green tea and sit back and relax, because today's article is a little on the long side.


But bear with me, because the payoff is there at the end.


First, the bad news — which we all knew, really — is that willpower is a limited resource. Using willpower to refrain from one bad habit, or to force ourselves to do an unpleasant task, depletes the willpower left over for other unpleasant tasks. For instance:

[R]estraining our consumer spending, in the short term, may cause us to actually loosen the belts around our waists. What’s the connection? The brain has a limited capacity for self-regulation, so exerting willpower in one area often leads to backsliding in others.

But the good news is you can avoid backsliding by using your limited willpower strategically:

For example, if you do not want to drink too much at a party, then on the way to the festivities, you should not deplete your willpower by window shopping for items you cannot afford. Taking an alternative route to avoid passing the store would be a better strategy.

And there's more good news: Willpower is like a muscle — the more you exert it, the stronger it gets:

In psychological studies, even something as simple as using your nondominant hand to brush your teeth for two weeks can increase willpower capacity.

Anyway, this is all according to the authors of Welcome to Your Brain, which does seem like an interesting read.


But there's another way of looking at it: How much willpower you have depends on how much stress you have.


Stress is a killer. It wears us down. In fact, that's what stress is — the use of too much of our limited mental energy on some chronic problem or obstacle in our lives, leaving us too little energy left to devote to the important things.


It's like a little kid nagging, nagging, nagging for ice cream, until Mom is so worn down she gives in.


Then again, maybe Mom would have had the strength to keep saying "No" if other things in her life hadn't already worn down her willpower.


Some stress is unavoidable. Life ain't easy, after all. But you can zap a big chunk of your stress just by learning the art of relaxation. Things like deep breathing, meditating, yoga, exercise.


And, of course, green tea.


You may laugh. But do not underestimate the power of green tea, Grasshopper. The power to relax you. The power to mellow you out.


And green tea isn't just a beverage. It's a philosophy. A way of life.



Reduce your stress and you increase your resolve to resist the many temptations out there (and there are a lot of them).


—Mellow Monk

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Doc, there's a spider in my room

"Count your blessings" is a one way of expressing one of the most fundamental philosophies of Mellowness. Another way of expressing this attitude is "No matter how bad things are, they could always be worse."


For instance, the next time you have a problem with HMO or your hospital, just remember — at least it's not infested with poisonous spiders.
--
Clarification:


A reader wrote:

"Things Could Be Worse" is quite a different attitude than "Count Your Blessings". The attitude behind it is bordering on paranoid and seems against the spirit of "mellowness", at least to me.

To which I replied:

You are quite right, Anonymous.

However, achieving Mellowness is for many people a slow, gradual process (sort of like learning how to operate a new DVD player).

Learning to always keep in mind that "things could be worse" is taking one step towards the much higher level of Mellowness expressed by "Count your blessings."

Or, as the Master says, "Before achieving perfect Mellowness, one must first stop punching the wall."

Knowwhatimean?



With apologies to arachnophobes, here it is, Australia's redback spider.


—Mellow Monk

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Willpower waning? Blame your accumbens

The part of the blame responsible for some of the really silly, short-sighted things that people do is known as the nucleus accumbens:

Think of the nucleus accumbens as appetite central. It's part of the primitive brain, and it has evolved to light up and get us moving forward at the sight of almost any kind of reward. It doesn't matter whether it's a piece of chocolate cake, a BMW M5 sports car, Scarlett Johansson in a party dress or a stock that gets the kind of hype Enron used to enjoy.

What to do when faced with a potential impulsive act? The trick is to relax. Take a deep breath. Mellow out, dude:

In one MRI study reported at a recent conference, the nucleus accumbens predictably lighted up when test subjects saw a blue square, which they understood to represent a possible cash reward. But when Rutgers University neuroscientist Mauricio Delgado asked the subjects to think of something else on seeing a blue square -- the sky or sea, instead of the cash -- that reduced the sort of brain activity associated with risky decisions.

And so, Grasshopper, drinking relaxing, mellowness-inducing green tea can also help you resist the many temptations we all face out there.



"There he is, Officer. That's the guy who made me eat the whole box of Oreos."


—Mellow Monk

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The secret to happiness: good health, giving, and green

Waaaay back in the days of black-and-white TV, Jack LaLanne — the "immortal fitness sensei" — talked about the secret to happiness, and his advice still rings true today:





Another secret to happiness is giving:

Think you'd be happier if you won the lottery or just had a few extra bucks in your pocket? Think again. Overturning classic economic wisdom, new research shows that it's not how much you have that matters, it's how you spend it. People who donate their dollars to charities or splurge on gifts for others are more content than those who squander all the dough on themselves.

Another thing that can contribute to your sense of well-being is — yes, you guessed it — green tea.



"Those who donate are happier than those who do not."


—Mellow Monk

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More meditation videos & music

Here's a plan for a 15-minute stress-busting meditation break:


First, brew a cup of green tea. Once the leaves have steeped for 3 to 5 minutes, remove the leaves from the water. (Or, if you're brewing in a teapot, pour a cup of tea from the pot.) While waiting for the tea to cool, play the first video. Keep your eyes closed and focus on the music. Try to smell the tea that's cooling.


When the first video is done, have a few sips of tea. Between sips, breathe deeply. When you've finished about half of the tea, start the second video.


Close your eyes and relax again. Focus on the music, on the taste of the tea in your mouth, on the warm feeling of the tea in your belly.


When the 2nd video is over, finish the rest of your tea, then stand up and stretch your arms above your head.


Don't you feel better?

—Mellow Monk

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Meditation video: crashing waves

This is wonderful—a 14-minute video of waves crashing against the shore. That's it; nothing more.


So tune yourself out from the world and either gaze at the screen or close your eyes and listen to the relaxing sound of the waves as you focus on deep, deliberate breathing and on gradually relaxing all your muscles.


Remember—the secret to relaxing through meditation is getting used to doing and thinking about nothing.


The full-size version of the video is available here.





—Mellow Monk

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Meditation tip: imagine you've been buried alive

Meditation is a great way to unwind after a rough day. But a lot of folks have trouble getting started — they find it hard to relax, or hard to focus on their breathing, for instance.


Well, a construction worker in China went through a horrifying episode, and his survival tactic provides the rest of us with a scenario to visualize in our minds. It seems an effective scenario for forcing yourself to relax your muscles, slow your breathing, and calm your mind.


The scenario is this: You've just been buried alive in a cave in. Your only air is the air in the helmet that just happened to be pressed around your face by the earth covering you.


To survive, you've got to stay calm, relax, and slow your breathing. Panic, and you'll run out of air before your coworkers can dig you out.


Now that's powerful motivation to destress.



Meditation can save your life in more ways than one.


—Mellow Monk

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Japanese jazzer Masayoshi Takanaka

Jazz guitarist Masayoshi Takanaka has been around Japan's music scene for a long time, and he's still going strong. His old-school "cool jazz"-style music brings to mind a lazy day on the beach or in the backyard, lounging with friends and family. Very mellow stuff.


Here are a couple of his videos I found on YouTube.


"Blue Lagoon" - In concert





"Ready to Fly" - Live, with violinist Ikuko Kawai)





"Nagisa Moderato" - In concert




—Mellow Monk

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Amazing panoramas of Tokyo

Talk about a site that's perfect for a green tea break.


The Washington Post has a collection of self-rotating 360-degree panoramas of famous spots in Tokyo.


When you click on one of the thumbnails, the full-size panorama may take a moment to load, but it's well worth the wait. There's even a full-screen mode, which really makes you feel like you're there in person taking in the sights.


Once it loads, the image begins moving to the side automatically, so you can sit back with your cup of green tea, relax and enjoy the show.



A still shot of the 360 panoramic view of Sensoji Temple in Asakusa, Tokyo.


—Mellow Monk

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Rainbow roses for Valentine's Day

A while back I wrote a post about how popular rainbow roses are in Japan, and the post itself was pretty popular, so I thought I'd write a follow-up.


The shopping pages of Yahoo! Japan are positively stock full of various rainbo